ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
