My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
