The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
