he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i came on her dog
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
