I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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