I think i peed on brittanys purse
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So vagazzling was a success
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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