so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize