Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize