Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
