It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
