In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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