Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You dont lie about slip and slides
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
