Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
