using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's great music for shaving your balls
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
