i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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