Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
