He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he puts the penis in happiness.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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