but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
