would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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