Non-Jews are for practice
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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