you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
