shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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