Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
