i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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