In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
