I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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