We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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