omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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