You really coming over, don't trick.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize