She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
