More tranny stories later!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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