This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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