You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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