Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
