Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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