5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize