problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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