I just saw a hot homeless man
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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