Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
