wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
babies were throwing up all over the place
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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