no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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