She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you never un-have a 4some
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
