I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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