After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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