Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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