Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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