Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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