There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
