she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
