Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
