hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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