my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do vagina's smell?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
