tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my sisters under your porch take her home
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
