there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
