I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
