part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
