awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
