i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
