i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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